My New Kentucky Home

A blog about faith and family, home and homeschooling.

Why I’m Thankful for My Struggling Learner

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I wish I could tell you I’ve never experienced feelings of envy as I stood talking to a mom whose children excel academically.  

Her children read and test above level in every subject.  Her children are articulate and precocious.  Her children are everything it seems a child destined for life success ought to be.

Why I'm Thankful for My Struggling Learner

I wish I could say I’ve never pasted on a smile and gushed compliments throughout such a conversation, all the while struggling inwardly with an awful sense of injustice:  How is it fair that ALL her kids are such quick, easy learners?  Doesn’t every family deserve at least one who struggles?

Sorry.  I’m not proud of feelings like that, but I’m a mom.  And a homeschooling mom at that!  And you know as well as I do that we moms often measure ourselves by the successes, (or failures,) of our children.  And having a struggling learner is tough.  Until you’ve dealt with it, it’s impossible to understand the frustration and the discouragement it can create for both parent and child.

And yet, there are some amazing things I could never have learned except through the blessing of a struggling learner…

Without my struggling learner, I may never have learned complete reliance upon God in my homeschool.
 
Had all my children’s learning been easy and seamless, I might have come to rely solely on my own abilities and rested contentedly in my talents and in my methods.  I might have been all-too-eager to sit back and soak up all the credit for achievements with which I really had little to do.  Instead I find myself regularly throwing all my pitiful attempts at the feet of Jesus, begging His guidance and wisdom. Every day I am brought face-to-face with how weak and ineffective I am on my own.  I need God’s help. I’m not smart enough or strong enough or patient enough to homeschool on my own and so, thanks to the learning challenges we have faced, I have learned, and am learning, how to trust my Savior more.
 
 

Without my struggling learner, I may never have discovered alternative educational methods.

When I first began homeschooling, all I knew was the traditional school model.  While that approach worked adequately for a time, my struggling learner’s problems were really the very thing that sent me seeking for new ideas, for things that might work when traditional methods weren’t.   Transitioning to other methods not only assisted my struggling learner, but also brought a liberating sense of joy and contentment to our entire homeschool.
 
 

Without my struggling learner, it might have been easy to forget that worth is not determined by grading systems and being “gifted” extends far beyond IQ tests. 

My struggling learner was designed by the Creator with unique talents and abilities that are no less amazing or valuable than the greatest academic achievements.  While some school subjects may present a challenge, my struggling learner is a phenomenal artist and problem-solver, not to mention she is selfless and compassionate beyond anything I would consider normal for a girl her age.  I want to embrace my struggling learner’s unique abilities and be open-minded enough to see the amazing gifts and qualities the same Creator has placed in others.
 
 

Without my struggling learner, I may never have learned how to encourage other moms whose children are struggling, too. 

Because I’ve been there, I can smile at the mom of another struggling learner — the one who is doing everything shes know to do and still feels like an abysmal failure.  Because I’ve been there, I can offer words of encouragement, share what I’ve learned from my own mistakes, and maybe even offer an idea or two. Because I’ve been there, I can share a special bond with other moms who, just like me, have children who may learn differently or more slowly, but whom they know to be precious gifts in every other way.
 
 
Though I have lost sight of it at times along the way, I am richly blessed to have a struggling learner.  When I remember all the things I have learned and see the ways I have grown, I have to think how unfortunate it is that so many others will never experience the joy of this special gift I’ve been given.  
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Comments

  1. KT @ OneOrganicMama says

    I loved this. As a high school teacher, I learn so much from the students with whom I share my days. There is so much to be learned from struggling learners. You are so right when you say "worth is not determined by grading systems" and that "gifts extend far past IQ." I love when I get to write college recommendations for my students or have conferences (or phone calls or emails) with their parents, it is then that I can describe not only students' "performance" in the classroom but their other talents and gifts that make them unique and wonderful. Thanks for this!!

    • kentuckysketches says

      I can only imagine the wide range of talents and abilities you see in a classroom of kids! I know my own children are so vastly different from one another and I can't imagine not valuing and appreciating those differences and each of those "hidden strengths".

      I'm so glad you stopped by today!

  3. Cheryl L. Stansberry says

    I've felt exactly the same way, even more so. My oldest was diagnosed with hydrocephalus at age 1 and has always been a few years behind in his development. My second oldest was failure to thrive and last year was diagnosed with an intellectual disability (He is 9 but is on a level of a 3 to 4-year-old). My daughter is also a struggling learner. At 7 she struggles with simple math and reading. My 17-month-old was recently also diagnosed with hydrocephalus and will also be having surgery in 2 weeks. He seems pretty smart but I sometimes sit and wonder if he'll develop "normally." In all this I've learned to not compare my children to others. They are made exactly how God intended. His grace is sufficient for me.

    • kentuckysketches says

      You are dealing with things I can't even imagine, but it sounds to me you've found the key to finding peace and contentment through it all–the assurance that His grace is sufficient. Christ has been my help and my encouragement throughout my homeschooling experience. He always has the strength and the wisdom we need for each day.

      I'm so glad you stopped by today, Cheryl!

  4. Judith Kowles says

    Tanya, thank you! I stopped by from Raising Mighty Arrows.

    I had 5 struggling learners. One read by the time he was 5 without a phonics program. One read before she was 4 by osmosis. FIVE read by the time they were 9. They struggled in learning in different ways. Through homeschooling I learned more than they did and especially about walking with the Lord. I actually think that is a big reason why God called me to homeschool. My youngest son just graduated in December 2012.

    • kentuckysketches says

      That is so true with me, too, Judith! I'm convinced God had more to teach ME through homeschooling than He had for me to teach my kids!

      And you have a wonderful testimony– you taught SEVERAL who were struggling learners! That's an incredible encouragement to moms like me who are still working our way through the school years. Thank you for stopping by today!

  6. Heather B says

    Beautiful share! As a high school special ed teacher, I applaud the different ways you have researched to help your perfectly created child succeed. It is always a struggle and people may never understand a day in your shoes, but you are appreciated.

  8. Erika says

    I have a struggling student to and I just wanted to thank you for the reminders you gave as we prepare to start a new school year in the coming weeks. I have four children and three of them seem to learn effortlessly…. but that one…. one precious child… not so much.

    • kentuckysketches says

      It sounds like we have very similar situations! But I can honestly say some of the things I've learned through my struggling learner have ended up benefiting ALL my children, including the ones who seem to learn pretty effortlessly.

      I hope you have a wonderful school year and that you and your struggling learner, (along with the others,) can make great strides! Thanks so much for visiting!

  9. hsmominmo says

    It is so easy to fall into that comparison trap. Satan does feed us lies, and tempts us to take our eyes off our task at hand.
    I enjoyed reading through your post, and found myself saying "boy can I relate!" Thank you for sharing your real life picture, and for encouraging us in doing good works.

    • kentuckysketches says

      Well it's a pleasure to "meet" you, Kersten! I ADORE Kentucky, but then again I was born and raised here, so I realize I'm terribly partial. But I've lived up north and out west as well and I STILL love my home state! I hope you can come to love it just as much.

      It's always a delight to meet a fellow blogger! I'll be visiting justenjoythejourneyladies. The name alone makes me smile! Thanks for visiting!

  11. Yaumara Lindo says

    Hi Tanya,

    I am one of your newest followers ( I found you via The Pink Momma Blog Hop). Your post is beautifully written and I thank you for sharing it. I have felt this so many times. My 2-year old was diagnosed with Autism almost 2 months ago. It was so hard to see other kids her age hit their milestones, yet my sweet little girl still wasn't talking (she only knows 4 words today). But we love our little ones and SHE has taught us so much. We are a stronger, closer and more loving and forgiving family today, because of her. She has also brought me closer to God and I am so grateful for everything, even the teeny tiny little things.

    Thanks again, I look forward to reading more of your topics.
    Hugs,
    ~Yaumara
    http://ylindo01.blogspot.com/

  12. kentuckysketches says

    I'm so glad you stopped by today, Yaumara! It's been amazing to me–in all my efforts to teach my child, I feel like I'M the one who's done the most learning! But it's truly been a wonderful thing for me and though I often wish it could be easier, I wouldn't trade the world for the things I've learned through it all.

    I wish you the very best of success with your little one! And thanks again for visiting today!

  13. Kasey @ Walking Redeemed says

    I loved this! My second born has struggled with severe dyslexia. I have run the full gamut of emotions and felt that same envy you spoke of. But the Lord has slowly shown me what a special guy he is and how his way of learning is unique, not wrong! Thanks so much for linking this beautiful post up with me last week!

    • kentuckysketches says

      Thank you so much for the opportunity to share! It's been a great encouragement just to hear from other moms who have struggled with the same emotions. But as with so many others, I've always found His grace sufficient.

      Thank you for stopping by today!

  14. Delores Lewis says

    As a mother of a child who struggled in math, I understand the frustration. There were times, especially once she got to the sixth grade and beyond, that I couldn't help her with her homework, simply because I didn't have a clue myself. She attends a great public school in California, and excelled at all of her subjects. Things began to change once I found her a math tutor in San Jose. From that point on her grades improved dramatically and she gained more confidence. The extra help was very instrumental to her educational success.

    • kentuckysketches says

      I'm so glad your daughter has made progress! I've found it very helpful to look for new ideas and different approaches and as I'VE learned new things, I've found my daughter doing the same. The two of us are learning together and I wouldn't trade that for anything.

      Thanks so much for stopping by!

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