You would think the word would have gotten out by now. I mean, homeschooling has been growing by leaps and bounds in recent years, so it’s not like it’s some new and mysterious movement people are just now learning exists.
And yet I continue running into these silly misconceptions about who homeschooling moms are and what they do. I’m not sure why that is, except that there are still plenty of people out there who may have heard of homeschooling, but who don’t actually know anyone who does it. And I also realize there are still a lot of people out there who are baffled by a woman who would choose to keep her kids home and teach them herself, even when there are free schools out there designed for just that purpose!
And so the goofy preconceived notions abound. Here are just a few of them. Lies, all of them, but that doesn’t keep them from being spoken over and over again…
Homeschooling moms have more patience than the average woman.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Sorry. That one just gets me every time, and it is undoubtedly the lie I hear the most often.
If you think homeschooling moms are all these sweet, demure, soft-spoken women, then you are sadly mistaken. Homeschooling moms are just as impatient, just as moody, just as prone to grouchiness as any other mom you could ever hope to meet. Trust me.
But let me also say that I do think homeschooling can sometimes develop patience. It forces it, actually, though that is an effect of homeschooling, not a cause of it.
Even yet, I’d guess 99.8% of experienced homeschooling moms will tell you that they don’t have the patience for homeschooling either. They just choose to homeschool anyway.
Homeschooling moms are confined to home all the time.
Contrary to the belief of some, most homeschooling moms don’t live in outer-Sclabobia, (don’t ask me where that is, it’s just a word we always used for way, WAY out in the sticks,) where their oppressive husbands keep them under lock and key, allowing them no contact with the outside world.
No, most homeschooling moms are busier and more social than they want to be, involved in more activities than they can often manage. There are field trips and homeschool groups and co-op classes and music lessons and library visits and play dates and church functions…
Believe it or not, we don’t grow all our own food, weave all our own cloth, hand-make our Laura Ingalls-esque clothing, and conduct religious services on compounds surrounded by razor wire. We do go out. Often. More often than most of us would probably like, in fact.
Homeschooling moms aren’t concerned about their children’s socialization.
Actually, it’s often because they ARE concerned about their children’s socialization that many moms choose to homeschool! A lot of them are probably like me: I got LOTS of socialization in my years of public school, and most of it bad. Not all of it, granted, but a whole lot of it.
But if 12 years of age-based segregation, which provides a social setting my children will never, EVER realistically experience again, is the kind of socialization you’re talking about, then you may be right: Most homeschooling moms probably don’t care much about that kind of socialization.
Homeschooling moms are helicopter parents.
Okay, I struggle a little bit with this one because, particularly when our children are small, aren’t we supposed to hover over them enough to prevent problems and control some of the things they’re exposed to? Isn’t that part of loving and protecting them? Am I a helicopter parent because I watch my children around a bonfire or because I choose what they can or can’t eat? Then why am I considered a helicopter parent because I don’t want to hand my 6 year old over to total strangers for 6 hours every day? Let’s be honest: People do that because it’s the cultural norm, not because it makes good sense.
But regardless, homeschooling moms do NOT shield their children from every evil and hurt and disappointment and certainly not from experiences that will teach them something. They don’t sweep in to remove their child’s every roadblock or solve their every problem. If anything, homeschooling moms probably encourage independence in their children more than the average mom, since it’s all a part of the process of developing life-long learners.
Homeschooling moms are organized.
The less said about this, the better.
(That’s my easy way of saying no, not always. Good organizational skills are not a requirement when it comes to homeschooling…THANK GOD…though decent organizational skills do come in handy!)
Homeschooling moms are creative.
No, homeschooling moms just visit Pinterest. A LOT. Sometimes I think I come up with some really good ideas and I go with those, but more times than I could ever count I find myself going to Pinterest or doing a quick internet search for some brilliant idea of somebody else’s. I can draw from other homeschooling moms, but also from brilliant thinkers and writers, experienced classroom teachers, and talented, crafty people of all types.
Maybe being naturally creative was more important back in the “old days” of homeschooling, but now it really isn’t necessary. There are plenty of other people out there to be creative for you!
Homeschooling moms LOVE homeschooling.
Listen, I don’t regret my decision to homeschool. I do love it. Really. I thank God often for changing my heart on the issue of homeschooling because I know I would be missing out on so much without it.
But that’s not to say I love it every day. Some days are tough. Really tough. Sometimes algebraic equations fry my brain and trying to look at words through a dyslexic’s eyes leaves me exasperated. Sometimes I get really tired of cleaning up Play-doh and organizing a zillion books and trying to teach my kids the Bible when I’m feeling anything but spiritual. Sometimes I hate my kids’ school subjects more than they do, (though I don’t generally tell them so,) and sometimes I long desperately for peace and quiet and one day, JUST ONE DAY all to myself. Some nights I even go to bed thinking, “Oh, please. Tell me I do not have to do that again tomorrow…”
But then I wake up in the morning, start the coffee, pull out the Bible and some well-worn prayers for grace and patience, and we go at it again. And there is always grace sufficient. Always.
And I have a feeling most homeschooling moms will tell you the same.
Thanks for another great post! I couldn't have said it better myself! : )
Why, thank you! Thanks for stopping by, Anna!
Exactly !
Can I hug you? Kiss you? Dance around the room with you?? Tee-hee! This was SO on point!! Truth, truth, truth!
Yes to all of the above, but be warned: I'm a lousy dancer. š
This is good, Tanya! The last time someone commented to me that they don't have the patience to homeschool, I said, "I don't either." Ha!
Same here, Heather! I still wake up a lot of mornings thinking I do NOT have the patience for that day, and yet grace enough is always provided!
Lastly, I'd add – Homeschool moms stay at home. I'm meeting many, many, homeschool moms in my area that are (1) working moms who work outside the home as well as in (2) working single parents (3) and even dad's (my husband does 1/2 of the schooling of my kids). I believe that we are breaking a lot of 'beliefs' about homeschooling in the coming future. I'm visiting from Weekly Wrap Up.
That's very true, Nita. I've actually been pretty amazed at the way some families work their schedules to include homeschooling. It's just further evidence to me, when people are determined to homeschool, they'll find a way to make it work!
Great post! So true!
Thanks for reading, Jenni!
Well said.
Thank you, Donna!
Great post! I've been homeschooling for 12 years now, and this is so true! Thanks for sharing! Visiting you from Mama Moments Monday link-up.
So glad you stopped by, Mandy. You've been homeschooling longer than I have, so you could probably offer even more of these pesky misconceptions about HS moms!
You read my diary! LOL! This was excellent, thank you!
Thanks so much, Letetia! Apparently we HS moms tend to hear the same crazy lies about ourselves! š
Don't forget about the lies people believe about homeschooled kids. Apparently, they're awkward, illiterate, and religiously extreme. (Which, of course, feeds into the whole "religious services in a razor-wire-fortified compound lie.)
In reality, most homeschool kids fit right in with everyone else. No one even suspects that they're homeschooled. And, often, they're more well-adjusted, social, and enterprising than other people their age.
I attended public school, by the way, and it was awful. I met a lot of homeschooled kids when I volunteered at the local Children's Theater. They were some of the most polite, well-spoken, responsible kids there. You rock, Homeschooling Moms!
Maybe that's another post for another time! I always love the "socially awkward" claim about homeschooled kids, especially considering how many INCREDIBLY socially awkward kids I knew in my public school years.
Anyway, so glad you stopped by today!
Yep, I've heard all those misconceptions. When people tell me that I must be so patient, I start laughing. If anything, homeschooling helps me see how impatient I am and how much I need Jesus.
So, so true. Homeschooling has been good for me if, for nothing else, to show me how needy I am of His grace.
Thanks so much for reading!
Amen to #1!!!!
I am the most impatient person in the world and when someone tries to tell me they just don't have the patience to homeschool (like I supposedly do), I go crazy in the head! š
~ Smiles ~
Thanks for sharing this post on the Art of Home-Making Mondays!
Few things make you more aware of your lack of patience than homeschooling! But that's part of what makes it so good for us!
Thanks for the opportunity to link up!
What about the notion that they're a bunch of "Bible thumping loonies?"
Yep. The kind who live on compounds surrounded by razor wire with stockpiles of guns and food in storage for the day of Armageddon. š
Considering the author herself said God "put homeschooling on your heart" this is absolutely true. I have yet to meet a homeschooling mother who wasn't a bible thumper. Why don't you just admit your real reasons for homeschooling instead of trying to convince everyone that you were specially chosen by a spirit? Maybe your kid was bullied, maybe you live in a county that has a lack of resources…whatever, all fine reasons to choose homeschooling. But this humblebrag that your god sprinkled fairy dust on you is not only ridiculous but it's self aggrandizing.
Wow, Anonymous. Itās a little hard to know where to start! But let me first say Iām glad you stopped by and took the time to comment.
Iāve reread through my own statements trying to find where I said or even implied I was āspecially chosen by a spiritā to homeschool. I donāt look at homeschooling that way at all. Honestly, I may differ from some Christian homeschoolers in that I donāt consider homeschooling a ācallingā, but more a direct tenet of scripture. My ābeing ledā into homeschooling had more to do with seeing the principle in scripture and then coming to accept and obey it than it had to do with some supernatural direction, or a sprinkling of āfairy dust,ā as you call it. And while at least a dozen other things in my life and experience confirmed what I was seeing in Godās word, it all started there, and itās not self-aggrandizement to say so, though, if youāre not a person of faith, I see how that may be difficult to understand.
Now. Iām pretty sure the fact I look to scripture for guidance at all probably classifies me as a āBible thumping loonyā in your eyes. I understand that, though in it you display an unfortunate and narrow-minded prejudice. Regardless, the homeschooling community has brought me into contact with homeschoolers of every stripe, including Catholics and Protestants, Jews, Muslims, and even agnostics and atheists. Just because the only homeschoolers you have ever known personally were the terrible, Bible-believing kind does not mean all homeschoolers are the same. While Iām delighted to find many, many Christians among them, homeschoolers are an incredibly diverse group.
Glad you stopped by. I hope you have an opportunity to come to know homeschooling better!
I had to laugh. You hit on I think 4 of my 5 posts that I did this week on the 5 common myths about homeschooling and your first one was MY first one. LOL. You are so right…and I totally feel you on the organization…totally
Here is a link to my own posts about the same subject!: 5 Common Myths About Homeschooling
I'll have to visit your blog. #1 is always, ALWAYS the one I hear most. And I groan inside EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Yes! Thank you for this sane, honest post! I was one who always said I did NOT have the patience to homeschool, yet here I am, a homeschooling mom. I can't say that my patience level Is any better, but my motivation has certainly changed. When I tell people that we homeschool, "I don't have the patience" is ALWAYS the first comment I hear! I think it's tough for everyone, it's just about how important you think it is!
I agree, Kelli! For the most part, people find a way to do the things they really want to do, no matter the obstacles in their way. It's no different with homeschooling!
So glad you stopped in today!
Thank you for this great post. Isn't it amusing how these are questions or statements we hear regularly. I often get asked at my kids dance and soccer classes what we do for socialisation. Drives me batty
It's interesting that people ask you about socialization at very social events! It must be hard to resist saying, "Umm…what does it LOOK LIKE I do for socialization??" Of course I say that believing socialization is one of the weakest arguments against homeschooling EVER, but, for whatever reason, it seems to be the issue people have learned to ask about first.
Thanks for dropping by!
I really enjoyed this post. I just found your blog today upon recommendation by a friend. I am not sure if we've met before but I do know your husband from years ago. I'm enjoying your blog and especially wanted to comment on this post. Wonderfully written all the way around. Great response to "anonymous" as well. It seemed you had some "higher" help with your response. God is good. Can't wait to read more, sis!
I'm delighted you've found me! And thanks so much for your kind words. I hope you'll be to drop by here often and be blessed every time you do. š