5 Ways to Make Homeschooling Miserable

I make no bones about it — homeschooling isn’t easy.

But there are times, a lot of times in fact, when I think people make homeschooling harder than it has to be.  I know this because I’ve done it!  A few misguided ideas and poor choices can lead to some miserable homeschooling.

Now let me offer this disclaimer before I say anything more:  Nothing I am about to say here can benefit anyone who is unwilling to make changes.  If you are bound and determined to stay on your present course in your homeschool, no matter what, then you might as well stop reading now, because I can’t help you.  

But.  If some part of you is willing to change, willing to readjust your thinking and try something different, then there is definite hope for improvement in your homeschool!

So maybe the best place to start is by identifying a few things I think are key misery-makers when it comes to homeschooling.  Trust me, homeschooling can be made so miserable by…

 

Trying to make your homeschool day look just like a traditional school’s

This mistake is one I think a lot of us come by very naturally.  When all we have known personally is the traditional school model, it’s easy to assume that is what education is supposed to look like!  And if our homeschool doesn’t look like a “real” school, or at least closely resemble it, then we feel like, (or think someone else will feel like,) we are doing it wrong. 

Nothing could be further from the truth.  Homeschooling can, and should take on a look and feel that is vastly different from the traditional school’s.  That can mean a lot of things, from an out-of-the ordinary school schedule, to study that is more interest or aptitude-focused, to homeschooling in pajamas or out-of-doors on a regular basis.  

Nothing can make homeschooling a miserable experience faster than trying to make it look like traditional school that you do at home!

 

Pushing, pushing, pushing.

I know how it is sometimes:  Because our educational choice for our child is different and sometimes questioned by others, it can be easy for us to become all about validation — proving to everybody, even to ourselves, that we are capable teachers and that homeschooling is an effective means of education.  

Sometimes maybe we also fear our child’s lack of discipline, (or our own!) and we think pushing and pushing hard is the way to ensure our kids learn well.

While I’m not opposed to some tough love when it comes to learning, it’s also important to realize that learning happens best when it happens without unnecessary pressure.  Force-feeding information and thinking more is always better — another hour, another worksheet, another practice page, another A+ — and you and your children are sure to be utterly miserable in your homeschooling efforts.   

 

Holding stubbornly to a certain curriculum or education philosophy

I’ve heard things like this before:  Every child must learn by rote memorization.  Period.  It worked for me, after all!

Yeah, except that kids and their learning styles and abilities are as vast as the day is long.  And for the parent who refuses to accept that not every child can learn the same way, homeschooling is sure to be absolute misery.  

I have also had heart-to-heart talks with weary, stressed-out homeschooling moms who admitted to me they hated the curriculum they used, and yet when I tried to suggest moving to something else, they would not even consider it.  Usually it’s because they are familiar with it, and something familiar that they hate is less daunting to them than something that might be a God-send, but is foreign to them.  Other times maybe friend X has always used the same curriculum and their kids are very successful, so of course it’s the only curriculum to use.  Sometimes I think parents just don’t want to go through the trouble of finding and trying something new.  They would rather continue on with what they know isn’t working and just hope and pray that things will magically improve.

 

Refusing to depart from set lesson plans

Whether you’re talking about building a house or educating a child, going into it with a plan does much to ensure success.

But remember kids are not houses, and the rigid rules and measurements that must be applied by a builder are not required of homeschooling moms.  

Sometimes kids excel and holding them to a lesson plan is holding them back from higher achievement.  Other times kids may struggle, and pushing them to meet with established lesson plans is so overwhelming learning comes to a halt. 

If a child becomes enthralled one day with your study of the praying mantis, or the mention of a current event leads into a full-on discussion of the Bill of Rights, don’t cut that learning short because you must finish A, B, and C to be done for the day!  Encourage the learning!  Trust me, A, B, and C will still be there waiting on you another day.

 

Confining learning to the homeschool classroom

It’s amazing how many people seem convinced learning only comes through a textbook, (or maybe a computer,) at a desk.  

Nothing takes the place of hands-on, experiential learning.  A child will likely learn more about trees by seeing and climbing them than by reading and answering questions about them.  A study of sea life can be very interesting, but a visit to an aquarium could be far better!  

The farm, the garden, the library, the factory, the museum, the historical site, the outside club, co-op, or class can all provide endless educational opportunities for your kids, far away from the confines of the classroom.

 

 

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