There just hasn’t been time or energy enough for blogging lately. I hate that, but what’s a girl to do? I spent weeks preparing for Christmas and then weeks more recovering from it and blogging has fallen by the wayside.
Oh, to have the ability to do it all! What a joy it would be to be perfect! To have a beautiful blog and a clean house with well-organized closets! To have a set-in-stone and faithfully maintained schedule! To somehow be the best Christian, wife, mother, teacher, friend, cook, housekeeper, and blogger that the world has ever known!
For me, it just ain’t happenin’.
There was a time I thought other people managed it, which only made me put greater pressure on myself. If they could do it, why couldn’t I? But I’ve learned better. Perfection in one area will almost always result in reciprocal failure in another. That’s just the way it works. We’re human and we can’t possibly do it all and do it all well.
But that certainly doesn’t keep us from trying, does it? We women are the worst! Generally speaking, I think men are better at recognizing their strengths and focusing on them while we are natural multitaskers and will absolutely kill ourselves trying to do everything and do it the way we feel it should be done, even if that isn’t humanly possible. And when we fail, like we inevitably will, we beat ourselves over the head again and again and mourn what incredible losers we are, just because we couldn’t accomplish what was impossible to accomplish in the first place! Go figure!
I stumbled across a blog the other day and was fooled for just a moment. The blogger was a homeschooling mom, a beautiful woman with four equally beautiful children. Her homeschool classroom was to die for. Her organization appeared flawless. Her blog was lovely. Her posts were helpful and insightful and frequent.
And I wanted very much to beat my head against the table! Why? Because she seemed to be achieving everything I wanted to achieve and yet haven’t been able to!
But all I needed to do was keep reading. The chinks in her armor quickly became apparent. Mrs. Perfect Homeschooling Mom admitted her laundry never ends and often she doesn’t cook because she simply can’t find the time and that sometimes her husband steps in to do the homeschooling or else she could never blog. She was remarkably candid and I realized perfection was something I had attributed to her on my own, not something she had ever claimed.
That’s our problem much of the time, I’m afraid. We compare ourselves to others and that’s where we begin to feel like miserable failures. But we’re all so different. Our strengths and our weaknesses vary greatly. What I excel at, you may not. What you easily achieve, I may struggle to attain.
And that’s okay. There is no Mrs. Perfect and we’d all fair a lot better if we’d stop trying to be her.
“…they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.” 2 Corinthians 10:12
Ouch. You’d think the apostle Paul knew me well. But I’m learning. I can’t be it all or have it all, but I can do my best to be my best and God expects nothing more of me. Why should I expect more of myself?
I read this old poem years ago and it comes to my mind again. It’s simple and I like it.
Be the Best of Whatever You Are
If you can’t be a pine on the top of the hill,
Be a scrub in the valley-but be
The best little scrub by the side of the rill;
Be a bush if you can’t be a tree.
If you can’t be a bush be a bit of the grass,
And some highway happier make;
If you can’t be a muskie then just be a bass-
But the liveliest bass in the lake!
We can’t all be captains, we’ve got to be crew,
There’s something for all of us here,
There’s big work to do, and there’s lesser to do,
And the task you must do is the near.
If you can’t be a highway then just be a trail,
If you can’t be the sun be a star;
It isn’t by size that you win or you fail-
Be the best of whatever you are!
-Douglas Malloch
I had never thought about the fact that "thinking someone is perfect" is all our idea!!! One time I asked a lady, "How can you work a part time job, homeschool your children, be a pastor's wife, keep your laundry up and your house clean?" Her answer, "Actually, I do none of those jobs well. Something/someone is ALWAYS left out." So – now when I get overwhelmed with the "perfect" people I see…I remember her words!!! I may not do MANY things, but what FEW things I do…I do WELL!!! =)
So true! All we can really do is try to keep our priorities in place and make sure we give it our best in the things that matter most!
I think we all fall prey to this train of thought, at some point or another … but it's not healthy for us, to be sure. Also, our thoughts are often inaccurate. WE often put people on pedestals that they'd never choose to be on. At the end of the day, we're all human {even those that appear to be superhuman}. I think being genuine is key, being grateful for the things that we manage to accomplish … & seeking wisdom to grow in the areas where we fall short.
Well said, Angie!
A friend of mine called me Wonder Woman the other day and I just laughed and replied back that I thought SHE was the Wonder Woman! We both had misconceptions that the other was doing WAY more than ourselves could ever possibly do. Neither of us felt that we were anywhere near the Wonder Woman level. We all have good days where we feel that we have the world by the tail. But then there are those days that we feel the world has us by the tail!
I'm usually comforted to talk to those seemingly "perfect" people. Usually it doesn't take me long to find out they're really not so different from myself!
I fight this too! I think I must manage my job– which means having all the paperwork done on time while having time for every resident, family member, and co-worker that drops by. Then I must have time to go to the gym after work, keep my house clean, and make myself healthy food. Also, I have to be pretty because I haven't any cute children to distract people with when my hair is out of place. I must also do everything at church that I feel I must do– stay practiced on the piano, teach a perfect Sunday school lesson, learn new songs for worship and be perky and wise about each one. On and on and on….. It never happens. bleh! Why DO we think it will?
About four years ago a clipped a helpful qoute from a Christmas letter and hung it on my refrigerator. It reminds me "I cannot do it all and that it is ok."
Maybe it'll sound familiar…it's a "FAMOUS" author 😉
"As for me, it seems I've spent much of the year accepting the fact that I can't keep a perfect house or get all of the laundry done or make gourmet dinners every night or be involved in absolutely everything I want to be involved in, but that 'ALL OF THAT IS OKAY.' I'm a person who loves order and I always pictured myself being the Betty Crocker mom, so I can't begin to tell you what a difficult lesson it has been for me to learn…….."
This wasn't just a difficult lesson for me to learn too, it's been a painful lesson that I'm still learning… ha…daily!
I needed to read that today! (Seems I do remember that author… 😉 !) I guess we're learning it together, aren't we?