My last post, (which was incredibly long ago, my apologies,) was my commendation to stay-at-home moms, the superwomen who neglect societal respect and financial gain so that they may focus solely on their children, in spite of a culture that insists dual-incomes are a necessity in our day and that a woman can’t experience fulfillment unless she has a job title beyond “MOM”.
But when my shout-out was done, I quickly realized someone very important had been left out. And especially in this era of gender equality, I don’t want to make the mistake of not giving proper recognition where it’s due.
Because while I believe strongly in the worth of a stay-at-home mom, I also understand that her ability to make such a choice is completely dependent upon the support, both moral and financial, of a remarkable man.
In other words, behind every great stay-at-home mom there is an awesome go-to-work dad.
I wish it was possible for all of us to “live on love”, but the truth is, somebody has to bring in an income or mortgages aren’t paid, cars aren’t driven, and mouths aren’t fed. And while I know some women operate businesses at home while raising their children, most stay-at-home moms are completely dependent upon their spouses to provide for the needs of the family. If a mom hasn’t married a man just as committed to the decision that she stay home with the children as she is, then it simply cannot happen. Period.
And just as the stay-at-home mom’s commitment to her children requires a great deal of sacrifice, the go-to-work dad’s commitment to them requires the same, because, while I realize some of these dads make a sizable income, the overwhelming majority of them do not. Of course that usually means some long hours at work, often at more than one job. And generally that’s not to provide many extras, but simply to make ends meet!
The absence of that second income, especially in the materialistic society we live in, can be acutely felt at times. As much as he’d like to, the go-to-work dad doesn’t drive the brand new 4 x 4 pickup with all the bells and whistles. In fact, you’re more likely to find him spending any extra income on the family vehicle, which in our case means the oh-so-masculine choice of alpha males everywhere–the minivan! You also won’t find him waiting in line to buy the latest iPad. (Although he might try to connive some way to get Rush Limbaugh to give him one!) And you won’t hear of him taking 8-day hunting trips to the Canadian Rockies or filling his garage, if he even has a garage, with expensive toys fresh off the showroom floor like four-wheelers, motorcycles, and fishing boats.
Why? Because he’s a man not absorbed in himself or his wants or his ego, but one who recognizes that the raising of his children means so much more than the car in the garage or the toys in the shed or the gross income on the tax return. Sure, every decent father would say he believes that and may do so to some degree, but the go-to-work dad proves it by making the tough choices that defy culture and deny self in a world absolutely consumed with selfishness.
A man who would do that for the sake of his children is not average. As I said earlier, he’s a remarkable man . And personally, I’m awfully glad I found one like that!
And to those of you who are stay-at-home moms like myself, never forget the man who makes it all possible. Few things could be a greater blessing than having a man as dedicated to the good and careful raising of your children as you are.
Be thankful for him! And be sure to give that go-to-work dad a big, sloppy kiss for making you such a blessed woman!
Jennifer Jones says
Good read, Tanya… It is a privilege to be a stay at home mom, even though there is sacrifice, but I couldn't do it if it wasn't for my husband willing to make his own sacrifices to make that possible.. So thankful God blessed me with a wonderful man who takes care of us.. No, we may not have all that this world thinks the average American family should have, but I am happy.. I have a Christian family who loves each other and we work together! So thankful for God's blessings!!