If any part of homeschooling threw me for a loop in those first few weeks, it was my virtual inability to keep up with the housework!
I had been struggling before homeschooling!! You can’t have four children in the home on an almost constant basis and not experience a certain amount of mess and clutter and chaos. It comes as part of the package.
Then suddenly I’m homeschooling throughout what used to be my most productive hours of the day. My morning and part of my afternoon were consumed with school and while I often tried to steal away just to make a bed or to gather dirty laundry, many times I was needed by one child or another before I even got to the end of the hallway!
“How am I supposed to do this?” I begged to know. “How do you possibly homeschool and maintain a home and keep clean clothes in the closet for the hubby and kids, all at the same time?”
Fortunately I was determined enough to keep trudging my way through those early days of homeschooling until I did begin developing a system that worked. It wasn’t a perfect system, mind you, but it was a functional one–a system I knew I could live with. It wasn’t easy, but it happened.
So to the stressed-out homeschooling mom who can’t seem to get it all done, or to the mom who has considered homeschooling, but knows her house is going to suffer for it, let me offer these suggestions these suggestions…
1. Learn to accept the facts: It is virtually impossible to maintain a perfectly clean home at all times while homeschooling, particularly when there are very young children in the home.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it’s just the way it is. Never lose sigh of your priorities, however! In homeschooling you are doing the single-most important thing you will ever do for the future of your children. A continuously dirty home is not glorifying to God, but neither is a home kept spotless at the expense of time spent training your children. A perfect house, while pretty for the here and now, has no eternal value. Do your best to keep your home as clean and presentable as possible in an effort to honor God and bless your husband and children, but don’t lose sight of what is more important.
2. Adjust your expectations for yourself. Find a “new normal” and learn to be satisfied with it.
Case in point; paper plates. Disposable dinnerware is fine for picnics and cookouts, but I hate using it in my home. Hate. it. To me, nice meals are to be served on real plates and eaten with forks you can’t break with your teeth. But I’ve learned that sometimes it’s okay to eat on paper plates if it will save me a little time and mess and maybe give me an opportunity to tackle some other task I’ve been struggling to get done. It’s not what I want, but it’ll do. I can be content with it.
If you can’t get the entire bathroom clean in one day, don’t sweat it. If the laundry goes unfolded more often than you like, learn to deal with it. If you have to mop the floor in patches because you never seem to be able to get it all done at the same time, just be glad it’s all been mopped at one point or another.
No, it’s not perfect. No, it’s not the way you want it. But that’s okay. Let’s be honest; sometimes we obsess over things that really don’t matter, and changing it up a little isn’t going to hurt any of us.
3. When possible, bring your work to school or your school to work!
If you’re like me, you process a pile of paper clutter every week — mail and notes and check stubs and receipts–all of which can easily be toted to school where I can file and sort and trash between lessons and questions from the kids. I pay all my bills online, too, which is sometimes a lengthy process, so I often bring the laptop to the school table and do the work there. I’ve folded plenty of laundry at the kitchen table during school, too!
But why can’t math be brought to the bathroom so you can work on times tables together while the shower gets a good scrubbing? Why can’t you dust while a child reads aloud to you, or sort laundry while they lay in the floor and do a worksheet?
4. Put those kids to work!
This has probably been one of the best lessons I’ve learned, not only for the way it has helped me around the house, but for the way I’ve seen it developing a sense of responsibility in my children.
Teaching kids to help out is not easy, which is exactly why so many parents don’t do it. You have to show a child how to do a task and then supervise them several times as they do it and then stay on top of them to ensure it’s getting done! And sometimes they still don’t do it exactly the way we would do it. But that’s how they learn! And not making the effort to teach them isn’t doing our children or ourselves any favors. Kids need to learn that they each have a responsibility to make the home work and that their contribution to the family is very, very important. Not only can it result in a cleaner house, but it also teaches children to be less selfish and self-centered, and more considerate of the home and of each other.
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When it comes to maintaining a house you can live with while homeschooling, what works for me may not work for you. The key to success, I think, is simply finding a routine that’s workable, if not perfect, and recognizing that your house looks the way it does because you are focusing on your children, not on your stuff. Stuff fades away. Souls are forever.
But someone else said it much better…
“…Lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” –Matthew 6:20-21
Well said. I found your blog through your post today at Hip Homeschool Moms, and I am enjoying reading what you've written. You have a very engaging style, and I plan to peek around a bit more when I have time.
Mrs.Hearts
http://www.heartsforhomeschooling.blogspot.com
Thanks so much! Hope you can visit again soon!
Thanks! I just found your site through Mrs Hearts. I just started homeschooling last year my 2 oldest went to public schools when we lived in Oklahoma but we moved to Illinois we felt better to keep them home – it has been a big switch for me and I felt just like you at the beginning it drove me crazy not being able to keep my home perfect. I have learned to enlist the kids help which like you said has help them learn responsibility. This year my youngest will be joining us she is starting Kindergarten (we did some preschool last year)and I'm a little nervous about how I will do all of them and still keep up with laundry and cleaning but I know I need to be a little easy on myself so thanks for your encouragement! Have a blessed day
I'm sure you'll find a system that works! It may not be perfect, but it'll be a routine you can live with! God's so good to always provide grace enough!
So glad you found my blog! Come back and visit soon!
Hey lady! I was just telling someone the other day I was ready to start school so things would go back to normal and some type of schedule around here. I think this has been the busiest summer for us since we've had kids. I do have some things to get done before we actually start back tho. All the sorting and organizing "fun" stuff (haha).
I will say a smaller house has been easier to keep clean but I still have my moments of overwhelming panic when it gets to messy around here.
Hope ya'll have a great school year!
Janna
I have those "panic days", too! Sometimes things just seem to fall apart and all the house goes crazy. Summer is really bad for that, which is why I'm just like you…anxious for school to start back so we can settle into a routine again!
Absolutely beautiful, Tanya! Points well said and with a good dose of humor. I have been homeschooling for six years and we found our place of new normal as you did. Many (actually virtually ALL) of the ideas you mentioned are what worked for us as well. What a joy! I thank God every day for the privilege of raising and educating our three precious children. Bless you!
Thank you so much! I'm convinced homeschooling is more of a learning experience for us MOMS than it is for the kids. But what an amazing experience it's been thus far!
So glad you stopped by!
thank you so much for this blog! my kidos are just younger than yours and it encourages me to see that if you can hang in there, i can too!!!
Sometimes I go blog-searching for encouragement, too! I guess we all need reassurance sometimes. It's always nice to find somebody who makes me feel I'm more "normal" as a homeschooler than I thought!
So glad you found my blog!
Tanya I loved this! I am a homeschooling mom of four (we just started this year) and I read this post nodding my head in agreement with everything; Amen! 🙂 Thank you for sharing this. We having "cleaning days" as I like to call them. We all work together and focus on one or two rooms. I stress the importance of us all working together and helping one another to get a task done just like the body of Christ (the church) works together as part of God's family. I focus on the priorities throughout the week during school (laundry and dishes) and then the bigger jobs are done on Saturdays (our cleaning days). Our kids are also responsible for their rooms and they are not allowed "fun" things until their room is clean. Thank you for the encouragement. It's good to know I'm not the only one who struggles with this. Loved all your suggestions and use most of them.
You are not alone! That first year especially was sooo hard, trying to get into a routine that was workable for us. But sounds like you're doing well! For me I think a huge part of it was being willing to accept that I couldn't keep a perfect house and homeschool. And that it was okay for our home to be less-than-perfect! There will come a day when keeping it clean will be much easier. (And I'll no doubt be missing my kids like crazy!)
So glad you stopped in today, Faith! Thanks for reading!
I am so glad I came across your blog from Raising Arrows. From tens of thousands of miles away, you have encouraged me that I have made the right decision to homeschool. We have eight children and will be homeschooling the four Primary age children from February (the start of a New Zealand school year). You could have been talking about me when you told of your reasons you didn't want to and your fears of inadequacy in your Path to Homeschooling. After much soul searching and trying to think of the logistics we have made our decision but I still wake up at night and am overwhelmed by the RESPONSIBILITY of it all – my children's education rests with me. Are small bite-sized steps in order now, for me to keep the courage to move ahead? The children are enthusiastic so that helps. Anyway, your words have been a reassurance – thank you! Jodie.
What a blessing to read that, Jodie! I struggled so much with the decision to homeschool, yet it has turned out to be one of the greatest blessings of my life. All that "soul searching" you mentioned was a pretty painful process, but it accomplished some wonderful things in me and in our family!
I'm so glad you've made the decision to homeschool! And "baby steps" are fine for starting out. Give yourself lots of grace and understand that it won't be perfect. It CAN'T be! But the homeschooling journey CAN be grace-filled and lined with more blessings than you ever dreamed!
Thanks so much for stopping by today, Jodie! It was a joy to hear from you.
Been reading through some of your archives and I love the way you think! I hope it's okay for me to share a blog post I wrote about why I don't have a clean house. I think you can probably relate: http://aimedattheheart.com/2014/04/28/dont-keep-clean-house-neither/
I love the thought that a perfect home has no eternal value. It applies to housework but also to the home itself. We are saving up to build a new house and, though my current house is much easier to keep clean than the one we just moved from, my house is old and awkward and it is incredibly difficult to figure out storage and organization solutions. It isn't perfect but the lives we live in it hold eternal value.
So true, Tessa. I don't want to spend so much time obsessing over my house that I neglect the ones living within it. The house will pass away. My family and how I treat them and how I teach and raise them can impact generations to come. In that light, it seems awfully silly to obsess over a spotless house!
Thanks so much for reading!
"A perfect house, while pretty for the here and now, has no eternal value." This is the most beautifully written statement I have ever heard regarding this issue. I live in a community full of people with perfect homes who send their children off to public school and the little ones stay outside all day long on nice weather days, no books, painting or anything indoors, the major priority is to keep the house clean. It is really difficult to ignore the vast difference between their homes and mine. Their homes were also clean before their children started school, because while I was obsessing over how many books I had read to my children they were apparently mopping the floor. I have found the best coping strategy is simply not to look at their homes. There is rarely a need to be there anyway. Instead, I focus on my deeper conviction which is that my children need me to give them as much time and attention as I can possibly give to another human being. My 7 year old has autism and my neurotypical child is only 3….you can imagine my home gets very messy! I actually do not even hs my son with autism because if I did my daughter and I would not be able to go to any of the social events or even grocery shopping. He is aggressive and his needs are greater than one parent can bear. I do, however, have the heart to help both of my children regardless, and spend time with them. I don't want to look back one day and regret anything. They will only be children once. When they go to sleep at night, since they sleep more hours than I do, I can often get anything done without interruption.
So true, Charlotte…the window of time we have with our kids is so brief. I would certainly rather spend my time obsessing over making the most of it than obsessing over keeping my "museum" in order. It can all pass away so quickly. But the impact we have on our children can last for generations to come.
So glad you stopped by today, Charlotte!
Tanya, even though I’m not a homeschooler I appreciate your tips. I’m sure we all could use a little extra encouragement when it comes to cleaning — for me, it begins with adjusting my mindset. Thank you!
Yep! A little mind-adjusting is important from time to time to help keep us from being totally overwhelmed! I’ve probably readjusted my expectations for myself more times than I like to admit… :/