This isn’t even MY story and yet I can’t help but take it on as personally as if it had happened to me. Sometimes sincere, well-meaning people can have the most ill-conceived ideas.
I have a friend who is a first-year homeschooling mom. She has decided to home educate her children from the start and she’s doing a phenomenal job of it.
Just recently she was sharing with me how she was in a local grocery store several weeks ago when an elderly man stopped to gush over her small, (and terribly cute,) children. In the course of their conversation she learned he was an educated man; a retired professor from a state university who had raised five children to be successful, respectable adults. Their chat was delightful up to that point.
But recognizing that at least one of the children was school-age or nearly so, (this was back in the summer,) he asked the kids when they would begin school. When my friend expressed her intent to homeschool, this kind, well-meaning, and incredibly ignorant man took her arm and began begging her not to do it.
“Now, honey,” he said, his words no doubt dripping with a condescending sweetness, “do you really think you’re qualified to do that?” After all, he went on to explain, he had once known a homeschooled girl who was overweight, socially deficient, and had never reached her full potential.
(Yeah. Okay. And I’ve known SCORES of kids who have gone through public schools who are overweight, socially deficient, and have never reached their full potential, but whatever. Anyway, back to the story.)
My friend, being a far sweeter person than I am, dealt with it quite admirably, smiling and gently assuring the gentleman she was pretty sure she could handle Kindergarten. I doubt I could have answered so sweetly.
First of all, all three of her children are young enough and small enough to fit inside one shopping cart! Obviously she wasn’t prepping to teach trigonometry or astrophysics! We’re talking number and letter recognition and basic phonics. Get real.
But it’s really the premise of the man’s question that makes it so offensive. At its core is the ridiculous, (and dangerous,) notion that only the “experts” can teach our children, that education is a medicine that can only be safely and properly administered by those the state deems “qualified” to do so.
One has to wonder how Abraham Lincoln, Mark Twain, Thomas Edison and a host of other self-directed learners like them ever managed without “experts” to direct them in their education. If knowledge can only be imparted by and received from those with degrees from liberal universities who have jumped through all the necessary hoops to obtain state certification, then it’s a wonder any of us learn anything outside of a stuffy classroom! Yet the human mind has an amazing capacity for learning, often without the facilitation of an “expert” of any kind.
When a person is determined to learn, THEY WILL LEARN, with or without a teacher!
But I’m not writing this to dis teachers in any way! Teaching is a noble calling and a good teacher can inspire his pupils in amazing ways.
But it is the state which determines who is “qualified” to teach and who isn’t, even though their certification standards can’t guarantee good teaching any more than a driver’s license can guarantee good driving. In many areas a dearth of teachers results in a lowering of academic standards for educators. But even where that isn’t the case, a teaching certificate may be dependent upon fulfilling certain training and educational requirements, but the most critical of qualifications, like a genuine love for children, a desire to inspire a love of learning, and a passion for a particular subject, aren’t necessarily required. Some may argue that these are more elusive qualities and harder to assess, but few would try to make the claim they aren’t also the most essential ingredients for teaching success.
I know and count among my friends some extraordinary certified teachers who love their students and give them their best each and every day. But that said, I also know many homeschooling moms without certification who love their children in a way no teacher could ever love a child who isn’t their own and who have a passion for their learning that few teachers could ever equal. Yet by the standard of the many, these moms aren’t “qualified” to teach their children. Apparently no amount of love or preparation or self-discipline or self-study can put them on par with an “expert” who has received the state’s teaching stamp of approval.
If certification was based on love and commitment, and even a comprehensive knowledge assessment, most homeschooling moms I know would be certified as easily as their public school counterparts. Instead the state requires four + years of college which is ridiculously, even immorally expensive while being minimally beneficial, and more and more evidently these years of schooling focus more on pushing certain agendas than on preparing teachers to provide their students with the best education possible. (And don’t try to tell me that indoctrination of educators doesn’t happen. And don’t try to convince me it isn’t harmful when it does. Ask 1930s Germany how well it worked for them.) It’s hard then to question an average homeschooling mom or dad who doesn’t feel compelled to take on incredible debt and to subject themselves to regular liberal drivel, all for a state certification they know does nothing to make them a better person or teacher.
But back to the “only the experts can handle your children” argument. I think it’s only reasonable to take that idea a step further: Never in my life have I been more unqualified to do something than when I brought my first baby home from the hospital.
I’d had little to no contact with newborns my entire life and I had never changed a diaper. Never. My own mother was deceased, so she couldn’t offer me any assistance or advice. Had someone stopped me in the parking garage on my way out that day and told me I was a threat to my baby because I had no idea what I was doing, I couldn’t have offered much in my defense. Except for love and commitment, which, of course, goes a long way.
Regardless, it was expected of me to learn and learn quickly how to care for this tiny little person I had brought into the world. So why is it impossible to think I can’t do the same when it comes to my children’s education? I can learn how to feed them and diaper them, but I can’t learn how to teach them? Or I can teach them how to sleep, to eat, to coo, to talk, to walk, to zip their coat, to tie their shoe, but I can’t teach them addition and subtraction and, eventually, even algebra and geometry?
If parents aren’t “qualified” to teach their children math and science and language arts, then certainly they aren’t qualified to care for them as newborns. Our kids are more fragile and dependent then than ever again in their lives!
So shouldn’t we leave the care of infants to “professionals” who have the skill, experience, and knowledge to properly care for them? Perhaps then the child can be returned to the parents when it’s time for solid foods.
But wait. An inexperienced parent can’t possibly be expected to know how and what to feed a baby, so the infant should probably remain in the care of “experts” beyond that time. Oh, but then a baby needs proper interaction to begin developing language. Naturally your average parent couldn’t effectively train a child to speak, so perhaps the baby should remain with those who are “qualified” to encourage language development. Of course later on there’s potty training to think about and parents just don’t have the knowledge to tackle a job like that, so…
Surely you’re getting my point here.
If I’m not really qualified to handle my children from birth to adulthood, then they should probably become wards of the state from their first breath. Though few would ever admit it, that kind of arrangement is exactly what many within our educational system would like to see. To those of us who are normal, it’s frightening, socialistic jargon, but it’s also a completely logical conclusion if we’re going to embrace the idea that parents aren’t qualified to educate their children.
Do you want to know who is the greatest “expert” when it comes to my kids? Believe it or not, it ISN’T the woman with 16 years experience in elementary education. It isn’t the man with a Ph.D. in child psychology. Neither of those people have met my children or seen the way they operate in social situations or in the home or been so blessed as to observe their unique talents and strengths and weaknesses.
The greatest expert you’ll find on my four children is ME.
I’m the one who knows that my son is very bright, but often needs a lot of prodding to get things done. I know what motivates him and I know what leaves him discouraged.
I’m the one who knows that at the first sign of frustration or impatience in the teacher, my daughter’s learning will come to a sudden halt. I know when she’s overwhelmed and I know when she needs a little break.
I’m the one who knows when my daughter isn’t being challenged. I’m the one who knows when she isn’t understanding her math and when she’s just being careless.
And what about the other details a qualified teacher would benefit from knowing, like the fact Peanut will be bitten by every mosquito on the playground and Little Man will be sick if any other kid gets sick in front of him and Doodle is a germaphobe who sometimes has to be told NOT to wash her hands anymore.
I’m the one who knows where my kids struggle and where they excel. I know what best helps them focus and what causes their greatest distractions. I know how they interact with others, how they respond to criticism, and how they handle success. I know their greatest character flaws and their best virtues.
I know my kids like nobody else knows them. And if that doesn’t make me expert enough to teach, then nothing else ever will.
So to the dear old man who thinks only the “experts” should be teaching my children: I agree, sir. Because I am the expert. And I am uniquely qualified to teach my kids.
I definitely would not have been so kind. I tend to argue 🙂
I have that tendency myself! But I realize, too, that a lot of people just lack understanding. Our culture has been so conditioned to a certain form of education and to their way of thinking anything outside of that can't possibly be good. You would think people have seen the statistics by now, but apparently not!
Just wanted to say bravo to all of you homeschoolers and christian school educators! I am for it 100%!!
Thank you for your support! And thanks for reading today, Sarah!
"Why on earth then would a sensible mom or dad take on incredible debt and subject themselves to regular liberal drivel, all for a state certification that does nothing to make them a better person or teacher?"
Why? Because I would rather it be me who is subjected to that material rather than my children, and because I think my children are worth the sacrifice. I put no monetary value on my children and if a degree insures that in our future world I will be able to homeschool them, then I will go to great lengths. Am I qualified to make this type of statement? Yes, because I am one of those parent who got my teaching license for the specific purpose of homeschooling my children. Is there a great debt? Yes. Is it worth it? Yes, because if our government were to rule that only certified teachers can homeschool…then I will be prepared. Oh, and before embarking on my college journey, I felt God calling me to do it. Is He calling all homeschooling parents to college? No, but He called me. So, in my case if anyone is being insensible, it would be Him.
If you thought I was criticizing people for attending college, particularly to obtain a certification that will then protect their right to homeschool, then you greatly misunderstood me. If that was your intent, then I commend you. My sister-in-law is no longer teaching, but is also delighted to have her certification should homeschooling laws ever change in the future, which I realize is a very great possibility.
I respect those who wish to further their education and I realize most have to do so in liberal institutions. My point was to argue that an uncertified homeschooling mom is just as qualified to teach her children, (actually far more so,) than a state-certified teacher and a mindset that claims otherwise is sadly mistaken.
I'm delighted college was an option for you. For many parents, particularly those currently homeschooling, it simply isn't possible. I have no objection to furthering my own education, except for the fact doing so would suck up precious time from my husband and children and cost far more money than we have to give. As things are currently, I would have to STOP HOMESCHOOLING in order to pursue a degree, which would greatly defeat the purpose.
I'm thankful to live in a state with almost no accountability when it comes to homeschooling our children. Although I do have a teaching certification I don't believe that it qualifies me to teach my children any more than anyone else. You are right- I'm qualified because they are MY Children. I'm constantly seeing examples of people/our government exerting their authority over parents when it comes to the best interest of our children. I do believe there will come a time when we will need to fight for the right to homeschool our children here in America.
I totally agree, Angela. I'm also blessed to live in a state where we have a lot of liberties as homeschoolers and I'm well-aware it may not always be that way.
Thank you so much for reading!
AMEN! beautifully said. I don't know that I could add anything.
People are already very willingly turning over their preschoolers and toddlers to The State, I fear it's only a matter of time before The State demands our babies as well.
It sounds ridiculous and impossible to people now, but, by the same logic, it's actually very reasonable to assume only "professionals" can handle our babies the same as our school-age children.
So glad you stopped in today, Linda! Thank you.
Wow!! Your post ignites many things in me. I spent from the time I was in the 5th grade until my first year of college to become a teacher until I seen just how terrible our school systems were becoming. Then I changed majors.
I'm in agreement with you that I am the best one to teach my kids because I do know their shortcomings and how to work around them. I know how to get them fully engaged in their lessons and make learning fun for them. I do work with the public online school for our state and have "expert teachers" available to help me should I need it, but so far we have yet to need it. I do feel that education does change every year, and guess what a person who became an "expert" twenty years ago, probably is not current on the new things to teach our kids as a mother who is going through the lessons WITH their child.
Good post!
As moms we have such insight into our children's habits and tendencies. It really gives us a remarkable advantage in teaching them.
And in this age of information we also have access to help from so many sources. If faced with something we can't seem to teach or even fully understand ourselves, there's help to be found with just a few clicks.
Thanks so much for reading today, Crystal!
I love this! I'm a newborn nursery/NICU nurse in a community hospital and I actually do a lot of the teaching of new moms to send them out into the world with their newborn "prepared"… one of the messages I always "harp on" is that while the doctors and nurses have medical knowledge, they (the new parents) know their child better than anyone else can possibly know them and that they need to listen to their heart and follow their gut instincts… because doctors and nurses don't know *everything* and we rely on parents to know what is normal (and what isn't) for their individual child. I love the message of this post… even know, with my oldest grown, gone and married, and the six youngers ranging from 4 to 17 (with baby #8 on the way in January), people STILL think I need to take advice about how to parent/homeschool my children from "experts"… and I'm a Certified Pediatric Nurse with additional training in developmental pediatrics!
I think it's hilarious anyone would believe you still need advice from "experts". With 7, almost 8 children, I would think surely you ARE one of the experts!
I so agree with what you said…no one knows our children like we do. The advantage that gives us as parents should be obvious, but sadly so many of the "experts" today view parents as ignorant and inept in every way. I only wish more moms and dads realized how capable they truly are not only of parenting, but of homeschooling, too.
Thanks so much for stopping by today, Elisabeth!
Unreal! People have more nerve!
Great blog post, thank you for sharing. We are over from the Deep Roots at Home link up.
We are also having a link up and giveaway if you would like to link up a few posts. http://rosevinecottagegirls.blogspot.com
Our other blog is for young women at http://thelifeofanotsonormalamericanteenager. My sister and I blog there. We would love to keep in touch.
Blessings~
Thank you so much for the invitation! And thanks for stopping by today!
Hilarious – "Yeah. Okay. And I've known SCORES of kids who have gone through public schools who are overweight, socially deficient, and have never reached their full potential, but whatever…" So unbelievably true! I had a conversation with a teacher who said she didn't think most people should home school because they just are not "qualified;" I actually do have a teaching degree; however, it is in secondary education and I won't have a student I'm qualified to teach for about 8 years, meanwhile I was certified about 7 years ago, haha! The Lord has given us great gifts and I doubt myself constantly, but he's brought me this far and if I do all things for HIS glory than he can redeem all my failings and teach this children for me!
That's really pretty funny…you're not technically qualified to teach your kids for several more years, in spite of your teaching degree!
Every good homeschooling mom is going to question her ability sometimes, but I believe the same would be true of every GOOD and dedicated teacher. It just drives us to do better and learn new things ourselves that we can implement in our homeschools. And, yes, thank God He makes up the difference where we fail! I've found Him faithful to do it time and time again.
Thanks for stopping by, Becca!
I attended public school all of my life. I just cannot trust someone I don't know to care for my children. Oh yes, my teachers were certified. Certification though does not mean you are a good person who would be a good example to children. I on more than one occasion was impacted by teachers that abused the children in their care. And I'm not talking about verbal abuses. It was much worse. And that was at three different schools! Don't get me wrong, as I know there are some teachers that ARE good, but I am not guaranteed THAT teacher. Nor am I guaranteed that even the good teachers won't be required to begin teaching my children things that I feel are MY and my husbands responsibility to teach (subjects of morality vs immorality and other delicate issues). Thanks for this post Tanya!
I had some awful experiences in public school as well. I had a few exceptional teachers along the way, but SEVERAL very poor ones as well. I can't fathom why THEY would be considered the experts and I, as the loving mom, would not!
you are too funny!! this post is witty and well written. thanks so much for sharing your friends story with us. i think she's a champ for handling the man so well…and for taking her 3 little children to the grocery store!! 😉
Thanks so much, Nickole! She IS brave for taking 3 kids to the store! There have been a lot of times I didn't have much choice, but I try to avoid it at all costs!
So glad you stopped in today! 🙂